Love is Patient, Love is Kind.

“Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude.  It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth.  Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.  Love never ends.” 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 ESV
A couple of months ago my ten year old was driving me crazy.  I have no idea why, but she was on my last nerve.  I made the decision to change my thinking and try to avert my frustration.  I made the choice to think and say over and over to myself “Love is patient, Love is kind.”  I jokingly said to my husband that I would have the whole verse memorized by the end of the day.  Well, I didn’t have it memorized.  In fact, I didn’t even read the rest of the verse.  1 Corinthians 13 is very popular at weddings but as I just read the verse again for this post, it is just as appropriate for parenting.  I have a step daughter who is now in her 20s.  Even though she is no longer a minor, I am still a parent.  I still worry about her decisions and shake my head when I don’t understand something she does.  I have to remember that no matter what, she is my daughter and I love her.  Nothing she does or says will ever stop that love.  That is the essence of this verse.  Love covers everything; it never ends.  When you love someone you don’t embarrass them on purpose (okay, when we have teenagers we like to embarrass them a little, but nothing that would result in life long scars).  We don’t resent our children or speak rudely to them.  We can be firm with our children and still respectful.  What an incredible example to for our children to see how to behave.  There is much to learn from this verse.

I think I am going to put this on an index card and post it them around the house.  These verses can carry us through every day life of marriage and parenting.  This could be great to mediate on the start of every day.  Let’s start today.

Mork calling Orson…come in Orson

“Oh Captain!  My Captain!”

“Carpe Diem.  Seize the day.”

“My best friend is a VC!  This will NOT look good on my resume!!”

“Na nu Na nu.”

“Shazbot.”

August 11, 2014 Robin Williams died.  In his lifetime he was an alien, a homeless man on a quest, a Russian seeking freedom, a doctor, an army disc jockey, a genie and Peter Pan for goodness sake.  His roles were as varied as the stream of consciousness that would leave his mouth.  I hope Bravo rebroadcasts his episode of Inside the Actor’s Studio.  They had five hours of material and one audience member had to be taken to the hospital with a hernia because she laughed so hard for so long.

For me, he will always be Mork.  A lovable, zany, harmless alien from Ork that lands in Boulder, Colorado and befriends Mindy McConnell.  Pam Dawber deserved countless Best Actress awards for performing opposite Robin and doing it wonderfully.

In my notebook where I wrote my rough draft of this post I went on writing about addiction and depression.  There is so much that can be said on this topic.  I’ll post my thoughts another time.  Right now I am watching YouTube videos of Robin Williams and laughing and smiling.

Channeling Mork for a moment, I will give you my report (like Mork would give Orson a report).  Depression and addiction are diseases not just mood swings or weak personal strength.  They need to be treated by medical professionals and realize that there is no cure.  Individuals learn to manage their illness on a day to day basis.  Relapses are possible.  So, family and friends need to be understanding and supportive and give hugs whenever possible.  Laughter helps too.

Mork signing off.

Na nu Na nu

Watch this: Mama Mork, Papa Mindy

Still here

The last post I wrote was back in September 2013.  I had successful wrist surgery.  When my stitches were removed two weeks later I realized the constant daily pain I had for who knows how long was now gone.  I did occupational therapy to regain strength in my wrist (my wrist was pretty weak).  I graduated from OT right before Christmas 2013.  I found myself back in the hand surgeons office in February 2014.  Over Valentine’s Day weekend I re injured my left wrist.  Sigh.  Fortunately surgery was not necessary.  I did visit OT again but this time for a wrist brace and some exercises to get my wrist back into shape.  Apparently I have mid carpal instability.  The tendons got stretched out from the injury and were not supporting my bones properly.  So between wrist brace, exercises and awesome tape, my wrist is much better.  I now know I am susceptible to such an injury again and I wear tape for extra support when doing activities that require it.  I would wear the brace for extra heavy duty work, but hubby is fine doing that stuff without me so I do not have a relapse.

As time goes on I am aware of more aches and pains. The price for being 40 something and for not being as active as I should be.  So I have been seeing a chiropractor which has helped tremendously.  I am making a better effort at eating more healthy, drinking tons of water and doing exercises every week.  One of the things I realized I was missing was writing.  So I have been writing short pieces here and there that i will be adding to the blog soon.  My creative juices are flowing again.  I have learned a lot of lessons and am ready to share them.

I hope you will stay with me and I would love to hear what you think of them as they are posted.

Till then, take care, stay healthy and Happy 4th of July!

Power of Words

Over the past few weeks I have been making a point to spend time reading the Bible.  I decided to start easy with Proverbs.  Proverbs is like Psalms – pretty straightforward and very poetic.  That’s what I need- straightforward and if it sounds pretty even better.
 
Have you ever found yourself in a situation where someone has wronged you or you heard someone did something wrong then you told others? First thing that comes to mind is high school.  Oh, the hormones are raging which leads to lots of emotions.   We would feel the urge to tell everybody everything.
 

Hopefully as we get older we outgrow that but it’s not always the case.  Businesses that I have worked for at times seemed like professional high school.  We got paychecks, but the gossip, rumors and assumptions ran rampant.  Even as I knew better to participate, I would find myself being sucked into the dark vortex.  It would be an internal fight to rise above it.

 
Proverbs 17:9
“He who covers over an offense prompts love, but whoever repeats the matter separates close friends.”
Just because someone you know screws up doesn’t mean everyone else needs to know.  I’m not talking about abuse or illegal activity.  I’m thinking of if your kid gets in trouble at school you don’t need to broadcast it. A better example is your husband insists on doing a home improvement project himself even though you think a professional would be better. See where I’m going?   If his way back fires, hopefully with no serious injury to body or home, you don’t need to rub his face in it or call your mother, sister, and best friend to gloat about it .
 

Proverbs 17:14
“Starting a quarrel is like breaching a dam; so drop the matter before a dispute breaks out.”

Your sister experimented with her hair – again.
Your best friend went out with a guy who you knew was a loser, and she called to complain.
Your husband came home late, the kids are cranky, you’ve got cramps, and he is complaining that fast food is dinner.
There are times when we need to zip our lip, take a deep breath and ask God for help.  “Lord,  you know how I feel right now.  Cover my mouth.  Help me speak with kindness.”
 

It’s not easy.   It takes practice.   I need to practice this.   Perhaps that’s why these verses jumped out at me.   Hubby and I live in a town home development.   There are committees that certain requests need to go through.   We submitted a request months ago and approval still has not been granted.  We think we are making a good faith effort to get the correct information and it seems to never end.  Let’s just say words and tones of voice (on both sides) have not always been  easy going and kind.  I started praying for better tone and I am noticing a change in hubby and I which is good.  I continue to pray for the other party.  Oh, how the Bible is full off instruction and relevance still to this day.  Amen.

 

I want to hear your voice

I went on vacation, daughter is back in school and I need to get back on track.  Of course, in 6 1/2 days I am having wrist surgery (I’m not counting down or anything) and will get thrown out of whack again, I guess.  However, I need your help with a project I have been mulling over and jotting ideas down over the past few months.

One of my goals or bucket list items is to get published.  The project I am working on is an e-book about Caring for Loved Ones with short or long term illnesses.  Of course this may sound like a really broad topic and once I hear your stories, this one book could very well go into two or even three.

This project has been inspired by events in my own life over the past 3 years or so.  Items I am looking for include:

  • What resources helped you or your loved one with an illness or injury? (i.e. American Cancer Society, MDA, etc)
  • What was the best type of help you received from friends, family?
  • Did you have an experience where someone meant to help or say something encouraging, but it just came out all wrong?  What was it?
  • Was a sense of humor/laughter part of your treatment plan?
  • How did your faith help/hurt your experience?
  • What lessons did you learn from your experience?

This book is meant to compile the lessons I learned and I would love to hear about your lessons and hopefully we can help someone else going through a difficult time.  Post your comments below.

I will keep you updated on the progress of the book.  Have a great weekend!Image

Scheduling my Days

 

 

 

 Month at a View 2013-08-09 09.46.22

Above are pictures of my Planner Pad in use.  It has month at a view and weekly view.  I usually don’t use the month views, the boxes are never big enough.  But these are big enough for me to write in event and time.  It is great for scheduling my part-time job, responsibilities at church and days off from school.  The weekly view in this planner is fantastic.  The top row I can sort out tasks by category: myself, house, scrapbooking, mom’s group, church, etc.  The second row is daily tasks.  I can move items from top row to second row day specific and I also write down daily household tasks I want to accomplish.  The third bottom row has times for appointments.  I think I may have found the perfect planner for me.  I am thinking for next year of getting the slightly smaller version so it fits in all my purses.

What kind of planner do you use?

Staying focused

As I get older I am noticing that I have a harder time paying attention and for longer periods of time.  There can be a couple of reasons: 1. getting older 2. technology.  I have an iPhone and tablet, love facebook and love getting email.  By having beeps and notices when you get a message or response, it compels you to keep checking.  Which of course interferes with the ability to have a conversation with another human being and finish simple tasks.  I do house paperwork at the desk with the computer.  My other distraction  is YouTube.  That’s a whole other post.

I put a post it on the monitor that says, “I will complete one task at a time.”  It’s pretty much re-training my brain.  Sometimes I need to get a timer and set a limit; usually no more than 15 minutes.  I have also started keeping a to-do list.  This accomplishes two things: 1.  I have written down everything I’d like to do so I don’t have to worry about forgetting it.  2.  It helps to cross things off to feel a sense of accomplishment.  There have been times when I needed to write down “get dressed” and “eat.”  Those were times when my depression was not under control.  It was something I learned in therapy.  It might seem overly obvious or simple, but if you are having trouble focusing – have two lists.  One list of daily “Must Do” and another for “Want To.”  By seeing the “must dos” crossed off it propels you forward to the “want” and keep you on track.

What are some things you do to stay focused and keep on track?Image